- Location: Vagabond Hostel
- Appearence: young girl in her mid 20s
- Distinguishing Characteristics: For over one week, she never left a couch and remained transfixed on her phone
One day, I entered the hostel living room after a long day of work. I had one thing on my mind, and that was to sit down on the nice, comfortable couch and let all the stresses of the day just melt away. But just as I was about to flop down, I noticed something that crushed my hopes like like a bug. Someone was already there. A girl, who I had never seen before, was laying down, taking up the entire couch, and transfixed on her cellphone to the point where. Ok, I thought, maybe she would leave soon. She didn't.
For more than a week, this girl remained attached to the hostel common room couch as if they were Siamese twins. Not once did she get up or speak. Food? Toilet? The great outdoors? Regular humanly needs? Not for her. There was just the couch and her phone, from which she would periodically laugh at random intervals.
Once upon a time, in a small, tucked-away town, there was a woman who did not like people. She couldn't really pinpoint why. Maybe it was the fact they moved around too much, maybe it was the sound their vocal cords made, she wasn't completely sure. All she knew, though, was that they were largely irreverent to here. And she was fine with that. She didn't need people, because she had found her true love: a couch. But there was only one problem, they had to keep their love a secret because her parents forbid any such relationship. So one night, she stole a pick-up truck and strapped the couch to the back. They were going to go to the big city where they could grow their relationship without any of the small-town judgement.
Once they arrived and settled in, the two decided to take their relationship to the next level and soon were married. Everything seemed to be going so well, but one day, the woman wasn't feeling so good. She went to the doctor to see what was the matter, and to her surprise, the doctor told her that she was pregnant. How could this be? She did not know, but now it was her reality. She waited and waited over the next few months, not sure what would happen. Then, finally, one day she had a baby girl. But this was no ordinary girl. She was half human and half couch. Person and furniture had infused into one and Couch Girl was not in existence.